I wish I had known. I wish I was sitting here thinking back on it and actually thinking that it was a good idea. I sat in Speech today listening to the lecture about relationships and I was thinking about him. We were never even in a relationship. He never let it get that far. He liked me, and at the time I knew it, but he wouldn't admit it. He didn't want me, and we both knew it. He wanted her.

That's what he got. All I got was 4 years of him. Him. The name still makes me cringe. He admits to me on my 18th birthday his feelings for me when I was 15. He admits it all to me when it was all too late. I analyzed it in my mind all night. I knew I was over him, but this changed things. This changed everything I'd ever thought about what had gone on between us. I was no longer the unliked. I was now the liked and misinformed. He lied. For probably 3 years out of our friendship he lied constantly.

He cheated. He admitted to cheating. He said that for 8 months he dated 2 girls at the same time. Then he went back on it, saying that he lied about the cheating as well. He said he did nothing wrong, that he dated 2 girls at DIFFERENT times. I didn't believe him. I still don't.

Why does he still bother me? I hardly speak to him and he still runs through my mind.

I have no idea where this came from.